TEN MOST WANTED

“THE LOVING MAN”

In the first two studies of God’s “Ten Most Wanted” we met the Faithful Man and the Worshipful Man.
We will now meet another man who has long faded from the ranks of the “Chosen Men of God.” (I John 4:7)
That man is “The Loving Man.” Please understand when I say the Faithful, Worshipful and Loving man I am speaking of the ladies and youth as well.
Love is a word that is thrown around by most everyone today but few understand or practice its truth.

In this study we will briefly examine five ways that God reveals His love to man and how man should reciprocate that love to God and to ones mate and to his children and to the rest of this world.
I would hope that after examining “love” tonight you would allow God’s teaching on love to work in your lives two way:
1) Allow His love to govern your life.
2) Allow His love to grade your life.


I – ALLOW GOD’S LOVE TO GOVERN YOUR LIFE

First John 4: 7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
A -According to this verse we see the oath of love.
-It takes two relationships with God to demonstrate true love to the world:
1 – You must have had a supernatural birth. Ye must be born of God.
2 – Ye must have be a seeker of truth. Knoweth (Ginosko) means to have a complete understanding of something. That something is God.


8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
B - Here we see the offensiveness of love.
John is being very clear here. He says a person that doesn’t exhibit and express Gods’ love doesn’t know God.
“Loveth” is in the aorist tense in the Greek.1 That means it has happened, it is happening and it will happen. 2
It is what is being practiced by someone now because God lives inside of that person.
C - In the next few verses (9-11) we see the openness of love.

9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
God revealed His love by word and example, tongue and deed.
When Jesus said, “Ye are the salt of the earth” he meant we will by deed and example show forth His great love.
10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Note that “God loved us first.” God showed His love to a rebel world and so if the world is to know our God, we must initiate love thought we may sense rejection from that world.

John says in verse 10 that true love can only be practiced as one understands the gift of love God has given us.
Every time “love” is used in this text it is from the root word agape. 3

D – The obligation of love.
11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
The word “ought” speaks of an duty that should be returned.
John says if God loved us so much as to send His son to die for us and that is the aorist tense. We should love each other the same way. That is the present tense in the Greek.
If you have a problem living love (kindness, patience, forgiveness, joy, smile) please go to Calvary and take another look, and stay there till the truth of love becomes evident in your life.
E - The obviousness of love (12).
12 No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.
Do you see the amazing statement in that verse? The only way the world can see God’s love is through true Christians.
The world saw God’s love through Jesus when He walked on the earth but Jesus has been in heaven for nearly 2,000 years. Your children mate and friends see Jesus in you or they don’t see Him at all.

Let me illustrate. While I was in Florida for four years, a number of folks I knew had orange groves. Often people would have also a kumquat tree as well. A kumquat was a very small orange color fruit smaller than your thumb.
It wasn’t an orange but it looked a little like one. It wasn’t as sweet as the orange, it didn’t produce much juice or have much fruit. It was a kumquat, not an orange. Now look at verse 13.

13 Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.
John goes a little deeper and says the love of Christ in you will be obvious to those around you.
If the love of Jesus is in our life the fruit of the Spirit will be evident in our life. Those fruits are love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance.
The fruit of the spirit is nine-fold. Some say it is eight in one. What that means is this: When you peel one orange you have eight segments consisting of the fruit of joy, peace, longsuffering and so forth.
When we are born again, His precious Spirit takes control of our lives and all the fruits are evident.
F – The only way of love (14). clarity

14 And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son to be the Saviour of the world.
Anyone who has a love relationship with Christ knows that Jesus is the only Savior of the world. I say that because we are living in a day of ignorance in many religions. Some people say they know Jesus and they say silly things like there are many ways to heaven. They don’t know Him.
G – The ownership of love (15).

15 Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God.
16 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.
“Dwelleth” means to live in and be at home at and with God’s love.
17 Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world.
18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

I – The origin of love (19).
19 We love him, because he first loved us.
Here is a big catalyst to knowing and practicing love.
We can only know love as we understand how much God loves us.
And then we can only show love by the love that is evident in our heart.

Precious folks, God’s people need to take off their dirty garments of self and pride and jump in God’s swimming pool of love and get soaked.
God’s love washes the chip off our shoulder. It cleans the sins from our hearts. It splashes away the burden from our backs.
It is refreshing. It is relaxing. It is wonderful.

J - The oversight of love.
20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
To say, I love God and then to detest a family member or brother in Christ is to have an oversight.
The word “hate” means to detest or dislike and it is in the present tense. In simple words, if you have dislike in your heart towards someone you lack love for God. Dislike is a poison. It will taint the fruits of the Spirit as poison will contaminate the fruits of an orchard.

K - The outcome of love.
Then John makes the Christian love really clear in verse twenty-one:
21 And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.
Twenty-seven times in fifteen verses the word love is used by John the beloved.
Real love in ones heart produces fruit from one’s life.

There are three types of love in the Greek.
Eros is a physical love. Phileo is a friendship or a brotherly love.
It is the love we have for someone because we are kin physically and spiritually and have much in common.
The world is filled with eros love and phileo love and the world is in a mess.
In Ireland religious groups who profess to know Jesus Christ as Savior kill each other.
In the Middle East see of the Jews hate the Muslims and the Muslims who hate the Jews.
In the world we see religions who hate everybody and want to kill those who do not believe exactly like them, yet they love each other.
Then we see those who welcome everybody and their sins.
So they have eros and phileo but lack the true love of God.
Eros love, which is the physical and sensual love and phileo love which is a brotherly love is good only if it is controlled by Agape love.

Agape love is God’s love. God is our example of true love.
Agape love is an unconditional, sacrificial, giving, patience and wonderful love demonstrated by the one who has this love though it may not be reciprocated.
It is spoken of in John 3:16 when Jesus told the world, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have ever lasting life.

This love should govern, manage, and control your life.
In the Bible we find the “Language of love.” It is a message that is two-fold. It is first spiritual and secondly physical. It is keeping the two great commandments; loving God and loving others.

It is impossible to show physical love within the boundaries of proper morality and ethics and values without knowing spiritual love.

How does God know I love Him? How does my mate know I love her? How do my children know I love them? How do people know I love them?

It is called the “language of love.”

1 – WE SAW HOW GOD’S LOVE SHOULD GOVERN OUR LIVES. Now…
2 – ALLOW GOD’S LOVE TO GRADE YOUR LIFE
I use to be a school teacher and a principle. Students were graded on an “A” to “F” level. “A” being the best and “F” representing failure.
Each of the five items in the language of love represents a grade (A, B, C, D, F). If you are successful in only one area within the language of love you will receive a “F” on your report card of life.
If you are successful in two areas you will receive a “D” and so forth and so on. If you do well in all five areas you will be an “A-Student.”
Your goal in life should be to be a “Godly lover.”

1 – Speech
From my lips I tell people I love them. I say to my wife, “Je t’aime, Je t’dore“ which is French for I love you, I adore you. 4
But does my wife believe me? Does your wife believe you?
Ones speech is more than words formed from my lips.
-She hears the beat of my heart when I speak.
-She hears compassion and concern in my tone.
-She senses my earnestness to please her.
-She sees the sparkle in my eyes.
-She takes note of my willingness to meet her needs.

If she hears in my tone an obligation to meet her needs or an unsympathetic tone; the language of love is gone. Words are just words.

-She hears from my speech words of true love, acceptance and admiration or she hears nothing at all.

Paul would have said today, Though I speak with the most eloquent words so that I sounded like an angel from heaven and yet I do not express true love I sound like pots and pans clinging together.
And though I am a preacher or teacher and have insights to truths from God’s Word and yet I show no unconditional and sacrificial love my words mean nothing.
And even if I sacrifice greatly for others, for my church, for missions and for the poor and yet I fail in my love and compassion to my wife, my children and my God my assets in the end when all is added together will be a big fat zero.

I know not how you love, but I know how God loves me.
Every day I awake he gives me the best of His world.
Every day I take time for Him, it warms His heart.
If I get close enough I can see Him smile.
Any time I come to Him, He takes time for me.
Every fear I bring to Him, He conquers.
When I fail and ask forgiveness, He forgiveness me immediately.
He is my Lord and God but he is more. He is my best friend.

I am to show that same love to my wife. She is my best friend in this world. We have a language of love.
Some people think I talk about the love Karen and I have to much, but you talk about what is in your heart.
I actually tell you very little about the depth of our love. Why? The key in love is not to imitate another person but to fall in love with Jesus Christ.

**Because Jesus is my best friend, my wife and I are best friends.
I say to her nearly every day. “You are my best friend.” “I love you.” “You are the best thing that ever happened to me.”
I’ll ask her “Are you my girl?” I’ll say, “I have I told you today that I love you?” And she will say, “I sure like to hear it.”
Sometimes I say, “Hello sweetheart, sugar plum, darling, honey bun.”

Now my wife returns the love I give her. She knows how to love also. She tells me every day of her love for me.
I like to hear it for many reasons, but one big reason is it shows me that she understands God’s love.

All through the Bible, God tells us He loves us. He showed it to Israel a thousand times. He made and He gave and He forgave them. He gave promises and blessings and direction over and over and over again.

And to the Church, God gave us His Son, His Spirit and His Word. In the Bible I find encouragement, edification, direction, love, peace and joy.

**-God wants to be loved, admired and praised because He deserves it.
**-Your mate wants to be loved, accepted and given attention because he or she needs it for love to survive.
-There are fears, insecurities and concerns in life that need to be worked out and the greatest catalyst to the remedy is understanding love.

**-Folks, practice love. Practice words like, “I love you, honey.” “You are special to me.” “I thank God for you.”

Learn to encourage and compliment and show compassion.
Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment,” but I am not married to Mark Twain. My wife can’t! She needs me to show her love every hour of every day.

2 - Substance
Spend quality time together. God came to the garden every day and fellowshipped with Adam and Eve. Because of sin, that fellowship was broken. Though God fellowshipped with man in many ways, and appeared in many forms, that sweet presence was no longer there.
But, He promised He would come again and He did when Jesus was born. Jesus demonstrated unto man the great love of God.
His very life was love. He cared for others. He spent time with His disciples. He cared for the masses and He sacrificed His life.

Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate and/or children.
A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT spending quality time with his wife or children.
Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared. 4
If the person is more focused or observant of the food, the restaurant, the ambiance than their mate there is no quality time.
Quality conversation is very important if you are to have a healthy relationship. It involves sharing your daily experiences, your thoughts and feelings and desires in a friendly context.
-A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening.
-Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. At times they simply need a sympathetic listener. Often one mate or the other turns to other friends because a friend will give a listening ear.
“Quality you” is an important aspect of quality conversation. It is communicating with your mate through your heart, your inner feelings and your emotions.
Few couples do this today. But it is like surgery. It is true that the woman had the tendency to show her emotions more than a man.
That is how God made the woman. The man is more goal-oriented and the woman speaks from her spirit, her will, her intellect and her emotions.
God gives the woman these emotions for a purpose. Often it is to help give direction and to wake up the man spiritually.
Great joy comes from deep, deep quality time together.
If you fear or lack this time with your mate, it is clearly evident that an intimate relationship with Christ is lacking.
Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many mates feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do.
Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation, playing together in a tennis league, taking a stroll through the park hand in hand, having a quiet night out at a restaurant or whatever, quality time is a must if love is to grow.

3 – Sacrifice or Gift giving
A kind gift goes a long way. To some folks the giving of a $2.99 rose is a great sacrifice and to others, a dozen roses at $59.99 are not enough though it should be. But, the giving of a gift reveals and offers love.
--When my wife and I were just starting out, for me to stop buy the bakery on the way home and buy her a 25-cent doughnut was a great gift.
--The giving of a gift should not be the price of a gift but the thoughtfulness of the gift.
--God gave the world His Son, Jesus Christ to pay for our sins! Wow! What a wonderful gift that was. But, that was one time gift like marriage.
In marriage you give yourselves to each other for life.

But, every day, God gives us rain, sunshine, air, health, our heart beats, freedom, family and a thousand little gifts that I hope we don’ take for granite. We should lift up our voices in praise to Him.
A wife would do good to thank her husband for His provision, direction, spiritual leadership, financial stability and more.
The husband would be wise to thank his wife for her love, work, meals, children, meeting his needs, providing meals and the other 1,000 things she does.
Often a little extra gift is a great way of saying, “I love you.”
For the husband to call his wife on the phone, buy her a card, write her a note, take her out for a meal, buy her a cup of coffee or some little things just to say, “I LOVE YOU, I AM THINKING OF YOU” is a great action gift of love.

Before you make too much to do over gifts, let me say, this is really one of the weakest ways to say “I love you.”
Why then is so much emphasis put on gift-giving?
1) Sadly, because the other areas are lacking so much.
2) Many people do this because it is easiest. But, it is only 1/5 of being a lover. If this is the only way you show love you still get a “F.”
Here is the spiritual analogy. Many folks give God there “Ten Percent” but that is all they do.” Though they think they are showing God great love, it is really a very weak way of showing love.
To know how to give, you give to deepen your relationship with your mate, not to make amends for mistakes.
The gift that is given must be accompanied with true love or it will be only a gift. (speech, substance, sacrifice)

4 - Service
Nobody knew how to serve like Jesus. He was humble, meek, and lowly. He came not to be served but to serve.
The beauty of love is when two live to serve each other.
If you want to have great love for God and for each other take your expectations of your mate and throw them in the away and think, “How can I show God’s love to my mate?” “How can I give and serve and please my mate as God has done for me?”
Now men and women take those statements personally. Don’t point your finger at your mate and say, “Did you hear what the preacher said?”

Jesus came to serve you, if you ever understand that truth you will live to serve others and then the blessings will fall.

5 - Support
The last but maybe the most powerful language of love is physical touch.
Understand that God became man to show you His great love. He wrapped himself in human flesh. He touched the eyes of the blind and the sores of the leper and in Salvation He touches the sinful souls of men and makes men clean.
The Lord touches us spiritually but we touch each other physically.

--Young married couples enjoy the physical touch but it seems as they grow older the physical touch becomes less and less. It should not be so.
If the only way you show love is by physical contact, you still get a “F” on your report card.
There must be more to being a “Lover” than the physical.
Physical touch can make or break a relationship.
Physical touch without “true love” can become repulsive in time.

**If men only understood a woman’s emotions and how they desire kind words and loving words and gentle words, it would make a big difference in the physical relationship.
Many a woman wished that their husbands would talk to them like they talk to other women with respect and kindness rather than with a chip on their shoulder or without any emotions or love.

**Some couples grow to actually despise physical touch because the speech, the substance, the service, the sacrifice isn’t there.
They therefore look at the other as selfish only living to please themselves.

When the other four qualities are going well, touch or a hug is a tremendous energy booster for love.

As couples communicate in the first four areas it will help them to talk and understand what is important in this final stage.

God meant for couples to enjoy the physical.
It is a sad commentary when couples don’t want to be lovers, friends, pals and buddies.
To hug, hold hands or sit close together for a married couple is a beautiful testimony of love to others.

If you are married there is nothing wrong with physical touch though you want to be discreet at church and in public.
At home it might be good for your children to see a little love.

God wants every man, woman, boy and girl to learn true love. He wants you to be faithful to Him. He wants you to worship Him. If you will you will soon develop a love that is as unique as the Lord Jesus Himself.

I have discovered something about love. I learned to love my wife and I learned to love others by learning how God loved me and then in my desire to be like the Lord, I try to practice the love to others, he showed me.


A man loved a woman with eros and phileo love. He thought he loved her with agape love but it was only talk. He talked the talk but he didn’t walk the walk.
He asked her to marry him and to this she joyfully did.
It was only a few weeks and the marriage became unhappy. Fussing, fighting, arguing, pride, anger, filled hearts.
It wasn’t long before the love was pretty dead.
It seemed all was hopeless.
The man wanted the woman to change and the woman wanted the man to change.
Then one day the man began to walk with the Lord and drew nearer.
He studied his Bible and became applying Christ’s love to his life.
Change began to take place, little by little, week by week, month by month.
Years passed and people who met them never knew that at one time these people were two of the most miserable people on the face of the earth.
Less than two years later after their marriage started off with a big bang, the man went into full time service for the Lord.
Times were rough but God was testing their love not for each other but for Him.
Their love grew till the day where total strangers would approach them and say, “I wish I had the love you two have.”
To which they would point to heaven and say, “It is all because of His amazing grace.”

If your love in your home is lacking I would encourage you to do as this couple did. Fall in love with Jesus!
Minister George Crane tells of a wife who came into his office full of hatred toward her husband. "I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to get even. Before I divorce him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me."
Dr. Crane suggested an ingenious plan "Go home and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him. Make him believe you love him. After you've convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb.
Tell him that you're getting a divorce. That will really hurt him." With revenge in her eyes, she smiled and exclaimed, "Beautiful, beautiful. Will he ever be surprised!" And she did it with enthusiasm. Acting "as if." She loved him.
She showed her husband love and kindness. She listened to his needs and gave of herself to meet them. She made him the best meals she could and shared her whole life with him.
When two-months were up she didn't return to Dr. Crane. Dr. Crane called her and asked, "Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?"
"Divorce?" she exclaimed. "Never! I discovered I really do love him." Her actions had changed her feelings. Motion resulted in emotion. The ability to love is established not so much by fervent promise as often repeated deeds. 6

Dave Simmons took his son, Brandon (five) and his daughter Helen (eight) to the mall. When they walked in there was a petting zoo in the mall. Helen loved critters and so did Brandon. Dave gave both of them a quarter so they could spend time with the little animals while he did some shopping at sears.
In a few minutes, he noticed that Helen was walking behind him. “What’s the matter, honey?” Dave asked.
She looked at me with those big brown lipid eyes and said, “Love in Action.” “The petting zoo was $.50 so I gave my quarter to Brandon.”
Nobody loves animals as much as my daughter but she was putting into practice a teaching at our house. It is called love in action.
What do you think I did? Well, not what you might think. As soon as I finished my errands, I took Helen to the petting zoo. We stood by the fence and watched Brandon go crazy petting and feeding the animals. Helen stood with her hands and chin resting on the fence and just watched Brandon. I had fifty cents burning a hole in my pocket; I never offered it to Helen, and she never asked for it.
Because she knew the whole family motto. It's not "Love is Action." It's "Love is SACRIFICIAL Action!" Love always pays a price. Love always costs something. Love is expensive. When you love, benefits increases go to another's account.
Love is for you, not for me. Love gives; it doesn't grab. Helen gave her quarter to Brandon and wanted to follow through with her lesson. She knew she had to taste the sacrifice for Brandon to enjoy the blessing.
That is what Jesus did for you. He sacrificed so you could enjoy the blessing of Salvation. Love!




1 – www.Bible.org, 2005-2008
2 – ibid
3 – ibid
4 – french.about.com/od
5 - www.fivelovelanguages
6 – www.sermonillustration.com, love
7 - Dave Simmons, Dad, The Family Coach, Victor Books, 1991, pp. 123-124.